~ E M O T I O N A L ~

Maaf yuk . Emosi tak stabil 2 hari ni . Tu lah jiwang2 shaja rupa blog ni . Huhu ! Tak tahu nak luahkan kat siapa dah .. Better luah sorang2 kat sini kan . Lantak lah orang nak baca or what . Tak kisah lah orang tahu akan hidup peribadi aku .. Kepada sesiapa yang concern . Thanks ar . Kepada sesiapa yang cakap "Padan muka" tu , thanks gak ea .. :)  

I'm always said this to you . " I'm happy for you" . And it's the hardest and biggest LIE that I ever said . Mulut cakap lain tapi HATI kata lain . Mulut senyum tapi HATI menangis .

Kan . That's what always happen to me . Banyak kali dah pujuk hati sendiri . It's ok , I'm better off without you . I want to forget you , forget our memories . But the fact is , I can't make it . I dun strong enuf to make it .You're apart of me . How can I let you go so easily dear ? Huh ! It's hurt . It's not the time to let you go in my life . I'm not ready . Awak dah meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam dalam hidup saya . You know it . Lainlah if you think the opposite . If you let me go , it's ok . What else can I say . What else can I do .. Saya takde hak nak halang awak pergi Dear . :( 

Yah . Again . I'm used to said those word " I'm okay . Don't worry" . It's complete a LIE then . I miss when we're in your car . You held my hand . You'd asked me . "R u ok Ma ?" And then I'm answered yes . Then you said "No . I know you're not" . At that time , you're looking at me . Do you know how I miss that moment ? I miss everything . Every of your cares ? I miss you .. I miss to call you Papa . Mardybum . Baby . Huh !!!!!! In my phone . I'm still put your name "PAPA - MR.MARDYBUM" . Do you put my name like what I did ? I don't think so . I know that . Who am I to you right ? It's ok . :/ 

That's maybe the truth . Sometimes , I will think that I mean nothing to you although hundred times you says that I'm someone to you . But you are . You're my everything Papa . EVERYTHING . :(