Happy 7th Months Anniversary

Mr.Mardybum . Tak terase dah kan . 1/2 year already since I knew you . Actually , more than that . Just that one was , since I'm start texting with you . I count every single day . Like what I did said before . I don't want to lost any moments with you . :)

Although now , we're not together anymore . But , you're still in my mind and my heart . I'll remember this date . 

Happy 7th Months Anniversary Mr.Papa :)

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CINTA .. Saya TERLUKA :(

CINTA .. Entahlah . Tak tahu nak describe perasaan sekarang ni . SAYA TERLUKA . SAKIT sangat rasa tu . Selalu je cakap , I'll move on . Tapi tak move juge . So hurt . Damn hurt . Sampaikan demam cause of this thing . I don't want to thing too much . But how could I ? Every single day . Every single hours . Every single minutes . What all I can do is .. Thinking of you . Damn ! Why must I to be choose to face all of this thing ? I'm weak . Too weak to face it . ;( 

Wish that I could turn back the time . Where's I didn't knowing you before . It's better that I'm stick single . My heart was not taken by anyone . Just taken by my lovely mom . I can't make thing right as I want to . I'm accidently falling for you . How can I stop that . It's all about my feeling . I can't control it . Just .. It's my biggest mistake for falling for you I think . I should be not bothered your life . Never ever disturbed it . It was my mistake .

I'm pretend like I'm too familiar with what it feels like to hurt . I'm always says that I'm used to all of this thing . But inside my heart , I'm TOTALLY broken into pieces . No one can fix it . NO ONE . 

LOVE , don't ever say "I LOVE YOU" if you're going to leave me . And the most important is . DON'T ever mentioned that word if you're going to LEAVE ME ALONE . That's word is killing me in silence .

But all I can do now is accept the truth . Cause I know the past cannot be changed , forgotten , edited or erased . It can be only accepted . So true . 

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Wondering

Why this gonna be happen huh ? Why must I still hoping for the things that NEVER be mine ? Everyday , every night before I go to sleep . I’ll hug your shirt . Hug my teddy . Cause you always said that you’re my teddy . I hug them and pray . I did pray . I ask from Lord that you’ll be alright . Stay healthy . Wish for you happiness . Wish that you’ll be back as my Papa someday . Yes , I did . I did pray for something that never be happen again . Worthless . I’m so tired now . I’m scare that I can’t wait anymore . If it’s a good news for you , ok . J I think it’s the suit time for letting you go . No one will hurt . I don’t want to hurting you anymore . L I should let you go dear . *crying*

You can ignoring me , but it's killing me in silent . It’s always me who’s care to much right ? Soke , I got reason for that . But you ? Do you ever care ? I don’t think so . Yeah , who am I ? I’m nothing to you . Seems like .. I’m just bertepuk sebelah tangan saja . Soke lah .. What to do , dah nasib macam ni kan . Rindu kat orang yang mungkin tak rindu kat kite . Sayang kat orang yang tak pernah sayang kat kite . Cinta kat orang yang tak pernah cinta kat kite . Dahlah , makin banyak melalut . Makin sedih nanti . Dahlah tengah hujan . Layan pulak lagu sedih … L

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Sebuah Kisah Aku dan Kamoo

Mase Sem 2 lagi , aku dah minat kat Kamoo . Masa tu , tengah bergosip-gosip dengan housemate pasal lelaki paling hensem kat UPSI . Haha ~ Gilakk keja . Then , sorang2 lah bantai citer . Mase tu aku minat kat senior Sarawak cause senior tu jaga masa minggu orientasi tok kolej aku (KAB) . Hensem gak . Haha ~ Then sampai je kat YUK (Roomate) , dia cakap .. "Korang tak tengok lagi mamat sorank ni . Masa dia jaga kolej aku minggu orientasi kolej (KUO) , cair kot aku tengok dia . Aku gerenti kalau korang tengok mesti korang will fall for him ." . Bahaha ! Siot . Aku terus terpengaruh dengan cerita si Yuk tu . Ape lagi . Dah si Yuk bagi full name , aku ngan member2 lain terus je cari siapa mamat tu . Gilakk miang kan ?? Hahaha ~ Memang miang ! Wink2 ..

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Thank You

1. God

Thanks to God cause giving the strength and beautiful life to me . I'm always believe that God always giving the best for me . Even though sometimes I'm feel so down , I know God must have some reasons for that .  God has created my life story , my love story , my happiness . HE IS THE WAY , THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE . HE won't leave me . I know that . NEVER .

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Thank You For Hurting Me XD

Thank you so much dear . Thank you . I don't know what else I could say . I'm hurt too much now . Too much . *crying while writing this* .. Huh ~ I try to smile . But I can't . My tears is run so fast . I can't bear with all of this thing . I'm too weak . I'd told so . So weak . It's nothing special anymore . 


Everything seems to be worst . I need to accept the truth now . He's not mine . Not longer mine . I'm get so jealous right now . I'm so sorry . I can't control myself anymore . I gotta go with my own way now . I should let you go . Even though we want to be like before , I think it's doesn't work . It can't be happen . Your heart is belong to her . You're stay in her heart dear . Not longer in mine . I can fill it . Although you've said " Kalau she is my jodoh , we're mean to be together . " Yes she is .    
I think it's the right time for me to move on . If not , I'll gettin so hurt . Sebab , I'm in love with you . Not you heart anymore . I don't want it . I want to fall for your heart . That's the most important . I want to win your heart . I want to steal your heart . That's all . 
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Do I Have Any Reason To Fall In Love With You ?

" Our heart is the greatest cheater in the world . It makes thousands of different excuses to stay in touch with the people we Love "

Do I ? Even though a million times if you ask me the same question , why do I fall for you . My answer will be the same . I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE . And I think I don't need any answer for your question dear . 

My heart for you is never change . It's always the same . I'm the one who's admire you . I'm the one who's seek for your love . I'm the one who's always care for you . I'm the one who's always by your side . I'm the one always LOVING YOU . I'm the one who's desire you . 

Sometimes , I don't think you're really care at all . Because I know , you're not the old you . You're the new person that I'd knew . Do you know how much I wish I could be fall for the person who's really make me fall in love like before ? That's the old you . The old my Mr.Mardybum . The one who's always be my side . The one who's always care for me . The one who's always make me laugh . The one who's always make me smile all the time . The one who's become a poison and a drug who's always makes me addicted to . Honestly , I'm really miss the old you . 

No one understands the silence between my words . No one understands the sadness behind my smile . No one understands the unsaid feelings of mine . They think I am fine but only I know daily I am dying . I want to be happy again . I want to live those moments again . I am sick of wearing a fake smile . I am waiting for the one who can really make me smile . And I know , just and only . Mr.Mardybum is that person . ;'(

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Ikhlas ke Awak Sayang Kat Saya ?

Ouh really ? Are you sincere in loving me ? Please don't play with my heart ok . Baby , you give me too much hope sometimes . And , I'm hoping too much . Seriously . 

Big girl don't cry right ? But I can't . I must cry on . Entahlah . I'm think too much now . Maybe , crying is the best way to express my feeling .  No one knows how I'm feel . No one cares .

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It's So Hard To Forget Someone Who Gave You So Much To Remember

Yeahh .. Aku mengesyokkan diri aku sendiri lah . Semakin hari semakin aku syok sendiri . Hurm . Ada baik and ada buruk . Ye ek ? Tak tahu . That's what I'm think about . Entahlah , aku rasa better I'm keep on silent . That's the best and better way . Macam before ni kan . Tak ganggu hidup DIA . DIA pun tak ganggu gak . 

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Kita bukan aku dan kamu yang dulu lagi dah ... :)

Mencari dan terus mencari . Di mana ? Ke mana ? Menghilang entah ke mana .. Ngee ~ Entahlah apa aku nak tulis nie . Aku ikut rentak hati dan tangan yang rancak menaip . Macam main piano larh pulak kan .. Heh . Al-maklum lah kan . Nak belajar main piano pulak lepas ni . Heh ~ Konon .. :)

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